This week on Bravo’s “Top Design,” the contestants were asked to decorate well enough to not only live to see another day on the show, but to literally survive. In a bomb shelter. I’m not kidding.
I can see the producers sitting around and brainstorming ideas for decorating challenges. I can imagine that they were adamant about not resorting to the white cubicles that the contestants were given last season. And then someone says, “But what about instead of white rooms, we make them look like bomb shelters?” Yeah! Brilliant!
Okay, let me back up a little. To introduce this week’s challenge, Todd Oldham wheels an old RCA television set into the designers’ workroom and turns it on.
The video is supposed to be like one of those old films from the ’50s or ’60s that tells you to hide under a desk if an atom bomb hits your neighborhood. The narrator says: “We live in a world of tension and conflict.” One wonders if he means among the contestants on “Top Design” or in the bigger world beyond. “Even under the heaviest possible attack, we can survive.”
Then there is a cartoony mushroom cloud that has everyone doubled over laughing. I’m not entirely sure why this is so funny. Are cartoon mushroom clouds inherently funny? Huh?
The video suggests that you build a bomb shelter in your basement to survive these hilarious, side-splitting explosions.
Ondine looks less amused. Glad I’m not the only one. But maybe it seemed more inappropriate than usual since this is the seventh anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.
India explains the challenge: “You’re going to design a room you could live in for the rest of your life: a Fallout Shelter.”
The rest of my life? I’d have to live the rest of my life here? No thanks. I think I’ll stay above ground and take my chances.
Natalie comments: “If you have to go live in a bunker, I wanna be able to live and be comfy so I don’t feel like s**t that I’m getting bombed.”
Yeah. That’s the whole purpose of a bunker, Nat. Feel better about being bombed!
They’re put into teams of 2: Robert and Jennifer, Nathan and Wisit, Natalie and Teresa (I don’t even remember Teresa from last week–she must really be flying under the radar), Shazia and Big-Daddy Kerry, Eddie and Don’t-Tell-Anyone-I’m-Married-to-Ricky-Schroder Andrea, and Ondine and Preston.
They get to work making plans and then head out shopping. At a store called Plummer’s, they have $3,000 per team and half an hour to get what they need. Eddie and Andrea make a pile of pillows and stuff that they’re buying, but when they come back to retrieve them, their stuff has been swiped.
Turns out “I’m-an-Architect-not-a-Designer” Jennifer liked it, too. They protest that they had labeled it. Jennifer says–unconvincingly–”I tagged them!” They see no tags that say Jennifer on them. She says, “I don’t know where my tags went…” But she refuses to give them their stuff back.
Andrea turns to Eddie and says: “Karma.” (Do I get a sense of foreshadowing here? Yes, yes, I do!)
Then the crew gets taken to Pier One for more shopping. They have $1,000 to get whatever they want here.
Shazia says she wants to buy 50 votive candles to place around and light them all up and make it real pretty. Big-Daddy Kerry says, “If you’re in a small space like that and 50 candles are burnin’, there’s gonna be a fat boy on a rotisserie.”
Now that the shopping is done, they have 5 1/2 hours to work on their bunkers. They start painting and stuff. Eddie paints “a kind of Tree of Life to bring some nature in.”
Some of the teams aren’t working as well together as others. Okay, so maybe it’s just Robert and Jennifer who can’t seem to get along. Robert wants to divide their bunker in half and pretend Jennifer isn’t even in it with him.
The next morning, everyone’s stressed about not getting done in time except for Andrea and Eddie, who are pretty much done already. Eddie says maybe he’ll take a nap in the bunker today.
Todd Oldham comes around to see how they’re all doing and offer some advice. Have I mentioned how much I prefer him in this role than as host like he was last year? Anyway, he tells Teresa and Natalie they may have over-accessorized just a tad, so they may need to edit a bit.
Here come the judges to see the bunkers.
Oh, my. What’s Kelly wearing today? I love her bizarro fashion. You never know what she’ll come up with. I’d love to peek into her closet sometime.
Today she seems to think she’s starring in a Merchant-Ivory film.
First up for inspection: Kerry & Shazia’s bunker:
Not much to say about this (yawn). They went for “neutral with pops of color.” It does look pleasant enough to hang out in for all eternity, I suppose.
Nathan & Wisit’s Love Bunker:
They explain to the judges that there is only one bed because they decided they would get married and share the one. Wisit says, “When he misbehaves, I send him to the couch.”
I thought they might get points off for this since all the other contestants had to work two beds into their rooms, but I’m wrong. The judges love it. Jonathan proclaims the marriage bed “J’Adorable!” (But as j’adorable as the doggy bed for Liberace last week? I think not.)
Kelly and her fingerless gloves are digging “the canopy tent vibe.” I bet she’s already imagining what crazy clothes she’d wear to live in a tented bunker like this. Maybe she’d go a little more “Out of Africa” for it? What do you think?
Natalie & Teresa’s Zen Den:
Natalie calls their Fallout Shelter “a place to chillax.” That’s chill and relax together for those of you who aren’t hip to these things.
Jennifer & Robert’s “You Stay on Your Side of the Line and I’ll Stay on Mine” Bunker:
Eddie called this room “Tribal meets Cape Cod.” Jonathan calls it a “Buzz-kill.” He asks them, “Didn’t you get along?”
Jennifer says, “It wasn’t that…” Unconvincingly.
Eddie & Andrea’s Country Garden bunker:
Jonathan loves it, loves it, loves it. It’s functional, he says, but beautiful.
Look–Andrea even managed to work in the picture of her husband Ricky Schroder into the room. But please don’t tell anyone that’s who he is. She doesn’t want anyone to know she’s married to Rick Schroder. It’s a secret. Shhh.
Preston & Odine’s Bunker:
They put shiny foil paper on the ceiling and divided the two beds with curtains for privacy “since we’ve got a man and woman situation here,” says Preston. You get the feeling Preston isn’t entirely comfortable with man and woman situations.
Is it just me or is anyone else wondering why there aren’t refrigerators or any other sort of food storage spaces in here? Someplace to pile your water bottles, maybe? I mean, if you’re gonna spend the rest of your life in these bunkers, you might need more than pretty bedding and fabulous tablescapes to get you through.
But maybe that’s being too nit-picky.
Time to file into the Judging Warehouse.
India tells them that they were mostly pleased with the results of their rooms.
They like Nathan and Wisit’s room an awful lot, but the ultimate winners are Eddie and Andrea. They get the “Top Design” of the week. Congratulations Eddie and Not-Mrs.-Schroder!
In the bottom two are Ondine & Preston and Robert & Jennifer.
Ondine and Preston’s room just really didn’t have a cohesive look, the judges feel, and Jonathan really, really, really hated those baskets on the walls that they used for storage.
But in the end, the judges couldn’t live with Jennifer and Robert’s design. Jonathan thinks it was “petulant” the way they divided the space.
India shocks us (well, at least she shocks me) by sending Jennifer home and then sending Robert home, too. I didn’t know two people were going home this week, did you? Wow.
Bye, Architect Jennifer. Bye, Cranky Robert. Sorry karma kicked you in the butt.
So what do you think? Did the best team win or did you like another bunker better? Was it fair to send both Jennifer and Robert packing? Was another space worse than theirs, in your opinion?
Discuss.
P.S. Check out the site Blogging Top Design for all the latest scoop on the contestants and the show!
If You’re Hooked on Reality TV:
- Recap of Top Design Season 2 Premiere: New & Improved
- Bravo’s Top Design Gets New Host for Season 2
- On “Flipping Out,” Zoila Gets the Last Laugh
- Are You Flipping Out?
- Flipping Out Over Ryan Brown Design
- Time to Cry & Cut Again: Project Runway
- Design Star: Rate the Former Winners
- Design Star Recaps: Season 3
Click on the birdie below to see what I’m chatting about between blog posts!
NOTE: I just found out that my blog-friend Amy designed this Twitter button. She’s so creative. Be sure to visit her blog Living Locurto for a tour of her beautiful home this week!
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m only watching this because of your recaps. I was laughing all the way through at both the recap and the show at Mrs. Schro…oops, I mean Andrea’s secret identity. Also, Robert and Jennifer both deserved to go home. That was like 5th grade. I especially loved Robert’s rationale that everything could be cohesive without being “matchy-matchy.” Goodbye, Robert. I would have been more sympathetic to Jennifer if she hadn’t swiped the pillows. Karma is right!
You are quite right, obviously the show has no connection with living space… a 10 by 14 bomb shelter that we are told may have to be one’s habitat for 50 years, and??: Well no books, no music, no DVDs, No Computers, No entertainment, no tools, no hobbies, no crafts, no designed work space, no food, no communications, no toilet, shower, kitchen, storage, Not nothing, just a bedroom with decoration, not even as self sufficient as a dorm room, and we are supposed to do what? Stare at 4 walls for 50 years and brightly chatter to our bomb shelter companion, how clever and esthetic the room design? The show was totally pathetic, but the judges were most pathetic of all, real losers, one would have to be stupid with money to engage any of them… One would have to Britney Spears to contract any of these judges to do a little decorating in your own home.
I did love the Andrea/Eddie room and the Wisit/Nathan room. I could not figure out what was going on with the losing team. Jennifer even said she felt they were going in the wrong direction. Maybe she should have decided to tone down her design to be more cohesive with his, since he wasn’t budging. But not too much – even though I didn’t care for the look she had, she seemed to have more than him. All I saw on his side were a bed and pillows. I don’t even remember much on the walls.
My one thought when they kept saying that you have to live there for 50 years was “how the h*ll do I go to the bathroom???”
It’s funny that you love Kelly’s outfits. I think they are horrible. Last season I actually searched for one of her books so I could see her design aesthetic because I found it hard to trust her based on her fashion choices. I was surprised to find that I liked her designs and none of the photos taken of her in the book showed her dressed crazily. I really had to wonder if she dresses like this just for the show and not in real life. Anyway, this week she had some weird combo of tailoring and, well, vagrant. Half of her hair was impeccably done and the other half was just hanging there. Her top half was beautifully tailored with bling and sharp patterns. Her bottom half was wrinkled silk boxers over leggings. And I saw her shoes during judging and yuck. Cream colored boot/open toed slingback combo (I did read somewhere that peep toe boots are in this season) that went over the black leggings — which oddly tucked under her heel instead of stopping at her ankle. For some reason, she kept reminding me of Minnie Mouse. I realized later it was the combo of the little hat and her hair slicked back, leaving her ear sticking way out. It was kind of distracting, to say the least.
Erika–
Just to be clear, I was being a bit sarcastic about Kelly’s bizarro outfits. It’s not that I like them and want to wear them–it’s that I find them highly entertaining, and they give me something to write about.
-Julia
Have you seen or heard anything about container living? Apparently, it’s cheaper for China to keep building large shipping containers than for us (U.S.) to send them back, so there’s now a huge glut of them just sitting around. They’re’ 10′ wide and come in two lengths, 20′ or 40′. People are buying them up to create housing. I’m going to do a post on them soon, but that’s why I loved this bunker challenge.
It’s hard for me to stay awake during “Top Design,” so I always enjoy your recaps.
I love your play by play and nicknames- too funny!
I thought that they were terribly hard on Ondine & Preston. I loved the wallpapered ceiling, which I believe was not even mentioned in the judging. They had the most practical design, allowing for privacy (I would want to kill someone with whom I’d share a bunker for that long!).
Obviously, the right people went home. I had to laugh when they told Robert that he was also going home and Jennifer started smiling.
I thought that India Hicks seemed more likable in this episode. Perhaps she was just stiff in the first one because it was the first time out of the gate. Kelly seems to be the one with the best constructive criticism. She tries to look at good points, as well as the bad where Adler & Russell seem to look at the bad first.
Definitely think the judges nailed the worst bunker. Glad to see cranky Robert go. Felt a little sad for Jennifer … except that she swiped Eddie and Andrea’s stuff! (I do have to laugh at how “hard” she tries to keep her real identity a secret. I’d think the producers and editors were playing it up … except for the photograph that she keeps propping up EVERYWHERE!)
Julia – thanks for the clarification. I definitely think that Kelly is playing a role for the buzz (which she’s getting because a lot of people I know comment on her outfits), but I wonder how much she is actually “playing.”
Kathryn – I said the same thing last week about the producers playing up the Ricky connection. But this week when she threw in how she was trying to define herself (”Rick Schroeder is my husband.”) beyond her husband, I groaned. But it seemed the only mention until the picture popped up AGAIN.
One thing I really wish I’d seen was the tablescape that I thought Wisit mentioned. India’s father was known for them and I thought it could either be a very nice tribute or backfire as butt kissing.
I admit I’ve never watched this show – I will have to check it out – but I have a question for you and can’t find a ‘contact me’ button on your blog so I am hijacking a comment instead.
Love your summer and fall kitchen decorating switcheroo and I can’t wait to see what you do for the holidays but my burning question is how and where do you store all your decorating “stuff” when it’s not in your house, um, decorating it. I’m fairly new to the whole trying to decorate my house and would love to do more, especially seasonally, but I’m stumped when I think about storage. All the bloggers seem to have scads of stuff to play with while decorating and all I can think of when I’m reading is where the heck do they keep all this stuff?
Thanks a million!
Hey, thanks for the shout out:-)
OMG! I’m cracking up that you noticed Kelly’s gloves. Too funny! ha. Can you imagine wearing those in real life?
Okay, I LOVE Eddie. He curses and talks about the other groups. Awesome for TV. I predict he will win and be a host of some type of show next year. I am upset that you didn’t get a snap shot of his plumber butt!!! ha. Did you catch that?
Anywho, I really liked their bunker, they deserved to win. How many times are we going to see that photo of Silver Spoons Ricky?? Enough already, we know who she’s married to.
I also liked Preston and Ondine’s bunker. It was based more on reality with the storage space and privacy curtains, but I guess they will know next time to just make it pretty. I can’t believe how much the judges hated those baskets on the wall. It’s so funny to hear the judges comments. My other favorite was the Zen Den… one the judges didn’t like as much either. Whatever they did, made the room look so much bigger than it was. Plus it looked super cozy.
Wisit is my second favorite. I can’t believe he’s only 30 years old?? He seems much older to me. He is super talented and so darn calm.
Who are your favorites? I want Eddie and Wisit to come decorate my home! I can’t wait to see them in a challenge together.
Amy–you’re welcome! I love that Twitter button. Nice of you to “share” with those of us who swiped it.
Eddie is definitely one of my favorites, too, especially after this episode when he showed how talented he is. Funny you mentioned the plumber shot. I did notice and was so tempted to get a picture, but in the end was afraid I may lose a few readers if I did. Ha.
Katy–we have a butler’s pantry that we had built in an unused corner of our kitchen to hold out-of-season decor. All of my Cmas decor is in boxes in the basement. I’m really a minimalist at heart, so altho it may look like I’ve got a lot of stuff to store, I am mostly decorating with different plates and bowls, which stack easily in a cupboard. Hope that answers your question! -Julia
GREAT re-cap of the show! I felt Eddie’s team deserved to win. He seems so talented. I am glad Jennifer is gone. She was on my last nerve. Natalie is a trip!
KayVonne
Oh my goodness! I have the same Pier 1 wheatgrass that Jennifer and Robert used!
Great recap, Julia, as usual!
Well, I guess I could live with any of those designs for the rest of my life. Which would be about 3 days anyway, without any water or food.
I was lost at the words bomb shelter! Really? Could they not think of anything else?
I will have to add Top Design to my DVR, I have missed this one. Sounds like fun! Oh what did I do before we got this wonderful DVR?! I’ve gotta look it up & get recording. Now, I have started recording Flipping Out & it’s pretty entertaining too.
I’ve seen some container living spaces on TV.
In the Midwest we have panic rooms & I’ve seen one decorated.
I haven’t watched the show but I’m loving your run down. So fun!
ITA the editors of the show are playing up the Rick Shroeder thing – including focusing on her photo (which is only his back, which the times we saw it before was just in her own room and this was supposed to be “her own room” as well) – but I don’t blame Andrea the tiniest bit for what the editors are focusing on. I believe she really did come on the show to make her own name, but do the producers care about her or promoting any famous angle they can?
I also agree with those that felt Preston & Ondine weren’t given enough credit. I thought their design was pretty “enough” but far more practical than all the others! Okay, except maybe the fruit on the plate was random-looking.
Someone totally should have done a pyramid of water bottles in a corner or something.
I think next week with be Drama (capital “D”) with the fashion designers having their own vision… I don’t watch that show so the people will be new to me, but I can only imagine!
OK…I DVRd and finally watched last night. Couldn’t come to your blog until I watched!
Where to start…
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. I don’t get you, but the gays love you so I will let you slide. I did recently see your old Playboy pictorial. I think you look much better when not left to dress yourself.
Not once, but TWICE in the same (judges) segment the camera panned over to the b&w photo of Mr. & Mrs. Not Schroder on the nightstand. Barf.
Is it me…or was the tree of life…a little sad? It kinda looked exactly like the tree my first grade teacher painted on our cinderblock classroom wall to cheer the space up. We hung construction paper apples with our names on them from the branches, and dare I say — Mrs. Moller’s tree kicked their tree’s behind.
Lastly I’m glad Julia pointed out what I thought was a poor taste timing thing…bomb shelter design airing week of Sept. 11. I thought I was being overly sensitive. OH: And did you catch Nat chatting about the bomb in Hiroshima and how mad *China* must have been (or something to that effect)?? Let’s hope this design thing pans out for her.
I am so happy to have Julia recaps! As always, better than the show.
Hmm…now where did they store all of those non perishables, batteries, gas masks, pet food, first aid supplies, drinking water, chemiclal toilets…*grin* I might need a few of those things after a nuke attack.
It was bad timing to air it this week though. *sigh*
Love,
Sue
Holy Cripes! I am REALLY getting tired of the time constraints that all of these shows put on the contestants/designers. Everything is rush-rush-hurry-hurry and no wonder we don’t get cohesive designs and well thought-out spaces. And then you have some know-it-all judges smugly giving out their well-rehearsed one liners condemning the results! This show is almost unwatchable because of the ‘judges’. That totally ridiculous Kelly, and that (not) j’adorable Adler guy along with the monotone voiced India (Who IS she???). If these people liked what I did I would be worried, very worried!!!!
I’ve tried to reply to this post a few times, but kept getting distracted – sheesh
I love your recaps. I wasn’t able to watch the show yet, but I’m still excited to see it after reading your recap – You give just the right amount of commentary and screen shots. I hope it didn’t take you 5 hours to do this one.
Thanks again!!
Kristin
Glad to see you have Top Design updates on here – I’ve been DREAMING about it – for real! Very crazy dreams!
Julia, I’m sorry Ike got y’all. We need rain so desperately and thought we’d get some out of Ike. Nope. Just a little wind. So I cleaned out my garage on Sat. to set some things out for a nonprofit coming down our street first thing Monday morning. And then it rained. LOL