Caption This: Green House

by hookedonhouses on May 25, 2010

green house 3

When I first saw this $513,000 house in the Maryland real estate listings, I did a double-take. Were those plants growing along the walls? Yep. They’re plants all right. Here’s a closer look at them in the family room:

green house 5

The homeowner clearly put a lot of time and effort into training the greenery so it would stretch around entire rooms . . . and even up the stairs:

green house 4

Check out the stairs themselves, which have actually been carpeted in two different colors to match the peach and tan paint in the house. I’ve never seen that before.

And, oh, yeah, more greenery, which creates a kind of tunnel so you can get to the dining room (might not be a bad idea to carry some pruning shears with you from room to room, just in case):

green house-2

I guess the plants come with the house, since they appear to be one with it now. How would you caption this? And why can’t I get this song out of my head? (Thanks to Julie who sent me the listing!)

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Carol M May 25, 2010 at 7:11 am

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum. (The last photo, especially, reminded me of Jack and the Beanstalk.)

Claire May 25, 2010 at 7:43 am

I don’t even know what to say……

Joanne May 25, 2010 at 7:45 am

That is just creepy (sorry about the pun). I’m all about green, and plants…but, that is just a little too much!

Heather May 25, 2010 at 7:48 am

All I have to say is “WHY”????

Elaine H. May 25, 2010 at 7:48 am

Is it safe to sit still too long or sleep in this house?

The alternating colors of carpet…well, another unique touch.

Kat in Texas May 25, 2010 at 7:51 am

I’m not sure how I would caption this. Words fail me. The trailing ivy, the peach and tan paint job with the matching carpeted stairs, the vertical blinds. And check out the champagne/wine bucket on a stand in front of the fireplace. It looks like there’s actually a bottle of champagne in it! There’s just no accounting for taste (or the lack thereof).

Mrs. Limestone May 25, 2010 at 7:51 am

I don’t have a clever caption but that realtor should have her license revoked immediately for allowing that!

MamHen May 25, 2010 at 7:54 am

I have no words.
.-= MamHen´s last blog ..Whew! =-.

rosie May 25, 2010 at 7:57 am

I keep thinking “it’s better than stencils” or maybe “enjoy the benefits of photosynthesis at home” The carpet and the two-tone moldings are more problematic for me because the plants could easily be removed. All in all, eeek!
.-= rosie´s last blog ..cupcake love =-.

Etta May 25, 2010 at 8:00 am

I don’t like this growing on the wall things… too much for me.. but I like the house!

Champe May 25, 2010 at 8:09 am

Ouch, that looks painful for the plants:) My Design

Philodendron Style? I havent’ seen that in the Interior Design books we use.
.-= Champe´s last blog ..Our Designers Fix this Room =-.

Lisa May 25, 2010 at 8:10 am

Oh no….thats just not right. I would love to be a fly on the wall (well maybe I don’t need to be a fly, just some camo face paint) when the agent brings in a buyer, just to hear everyones “feedback.” The house its self looks fine, but even if you pulled down the ivy won’t it leave some sort of sticky residue or stain?

Janell Beals May 25, 2010 at 8:13 am

Maybe these people were fans for Tarzan.
.-= Janell Beals´s last blog ..Tray Happiness! =-.

Janell Beals May 25, 2010 at 8:14 am

“of”, that is. I get such a laugh out of these posts!
.-= Janell Beals´s last blog ..Tray Happiness! =-.

Kelly May 25, 2010 at 8:14 am

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen anyone do in a house! If this house is for sale, I would’ve thought the realtor would’ve suggested they get rid of that. That is the strangest thing. I can’t believe someone thinks that actually looks good!

Joyce May 25, 2010 at 8:16 am

Gee- I guess they couldn’t just say “plenty of natural light”…they felt compelled to prove it. I feel sorry for the realtor. As a prospective buyer, you have to wonder what other creepy stuff there is in that house.

The MLS photos of our home before we bought it had this really big- almost life size- raggedy anne type doll posing in all the photos. We ignored the house for a long time because of that doll.

We also live in Maryland BTW.

Joyce May 25, 2010 at 8:17 am

OMG- I just looked at the listing and that house is like 10 minutes away….LOL…

Sharon May 25, 2010 at 8:18 am

That’s kind of sad because after years and years of careful pruning and training, I have a feeling that the first thing the new owners will do is bring in some trimmers and get those out of there! It looks really creepy like it’s going to eventually grow over everything including the homeowners in their beds!

As far as the two toned carpet on the stairs….I have no words! LOL!
.-= Sharon´s last blog ..Christmas decor in the guest room…… =-.

Lisa May 25, 2010 at 8:18 am

Okay so after I replied I went back through and read the other replies. I was so distracted by the ivy that I didn’t notice the repeated peach and tan patterns through out the whole house!! Yuck!! Is it just me or did the ivy seem to grow even longer from one picture to the next. First pic to the second. =)

Vanessa@decor happy May 25, 2010 at 8:19 am

You have got to be joking! A stager in Maryland needs to contact the realtor ASAP.
.-= Vanessa@decor happy´s last blog ..Stylish First Home (Part 2): Dining Room =-.

Beth@The Stories of A2Z May 25, 2010 at 8:37 am

I would entitle this “Feeeeeeeed Me Seymour!”. Totally creepy and not at all inviting.
.-= Beth@The Stories of A2Z´s last blog ..Protect Yourself When Thrifting =-.

LeAnn May 25, 2010 at 8:37 am

Ok, now that’s creepy! Seriously, what are people thinking, that they live in a jungle????
.-= LeAnn´s last blog ..Just a little more color…. =-.

Karena May 25, 2010 at 8:41 am

Julia, too funny, green house indeed! and the Little House of Horrors, hilarious!

Art by Karena
.-= Karena´s last blog ..Beth Cosner Designs Jewelry Giveaway =-.

Sarah May 25, 2010 at 8:48 am

I thought of Fee Fi Fo Fum too!

Actually, it’s not ivy. I’m thinking it’s a Pothos? This plant isn’t destructive (to the walls) at all. I have a ahem, smaller, more pruned pothos and it’s a lovely house plant (again, when prunned). The house is lovely and the plant wouldn’t stop me from seriously considering it.

Unfortunatley, the homeowners may be refusing any advise to prun the plant back from any realtory or stager.

Derek May 25, 2010 at 8:50 am

This is the home of the infamous “Poisen Ivy” of Bat Man fame. It reminds me of the old Hepburn- Tracy film, “Desk Set” Bunny has a plant like this that takes over her office.

Linda Leyble May 25, 2010 at 8:56 am

Oh boy – what was that homeseller thinking? It’s so distracting! It takes away from an otherwise beautiful home. Why people don’t contact stagers before they put their homes on the market – is beyond me. How much time(and money) was wasted with the home being on the market, looking like this!

Linda Leyble
.-= Linda Leyble´s last blog ..a-staged-childs-bedroom =-.

Dixie May 25, 2010 at 9:07 am

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

middlesister May 25, 2010 at 9:11 am

That’s hysterical. Have not seen anything like it in all of my real estate days.

Marcia Chunn May 25, 2010 at 9:14 am

This looks just like a friend of mine’s house. They have a pathos that is growing EVERYWHERE! It’s not my decorating choice, but they like it. Isn’t that all that really matters?
.-= Marcia Chunn´s last blog ..SANTA MONICA AND ANTHROPOLOGIE =-.

Cathy May 25, 2010 at 9:20 am

I can’t decide between:
“And so, with the help of his GPS, Prince Charming found the Princess Aurora and they all lived happily ever after.”

Mrs. Livingston: Stanley, I know you miss the jungle, but did you really have to bring your work home with you?
Dr. Livingston: Hey, at least I left the shrunken heads in Africa.
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Nu Green — No Ureaformaldehyde added particleboard by Uniboard =-.

hip hip gin gin May 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

There is a lot to be said for house plants, and plants in general, but these people have got to be kidding me.
No creative caption, just my mouth hanging open in disbelief.
.-= hip hip gin gin´s last blog ..Imperial Correspondence =-.

Katie May 25, 2010 at 9:39 am

I guess those owners were pretty attached to their ivy!

Sue Murphy May 25, 2010 at 9:44 am

Thanks for the good laugh this morning. I am still drying my eyes. No accounting for some peoples idea of taste.

desiree May 25, 2010 at 9:45 am

.-= desiree´s last blog ..Willow Glen Cottage Remodel with Modern Flair =-.

Janet May 25, 2010 at 9:49 am

hahahahaha! @ Beth! Feed me Seymore! hahahaha! It’s very strange.
.-= Janet´s last blog ..Happy Mothers Day! =-.

Gina W. May 25, 2010 at 10:09 am

Wow. The plants are just amazing…I am being nice and am speechless. I could take the plants down and wash the walls, but TAN and PEACH??? Together???? WHAT is that about? And it would take forever to repaint with that much detail!
Wow. Just wow.

Nichole May 25, 2010 at 10:18 am

This is hilarious and scary at the same time! I know houses are more expensive in Maryland, but come on! $513,000 for that? I bet the real estate agent wanted to curl into the fetal position after that meeting. :)
.-= Nichole´s last blog ..Garden Revamp Revealed! =-.

Cathryn May 25, 2010 at 10:20 am

“Although Jane appreciated Tarzan’s welcome home gesture, the plants came down before she had even unpacked her luggage.”

Laura May 25, 2010 at 10:54 am

Maybe they didn’t realize the phrase “ivy-covered walls” meant the outside ?

Susan May 25, 2010 at 11:01 am

Thanks for the giggles!!

Susan and Bentley
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Old Desk Tops =-.

Lisa May 25, 2010 at 11:03 am

Where is the motherplant?
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Beeswax and Squeak =-.

lisak May 25, 2010 at 11:12 am


Beki - TheRustedChain May 25, 2010 at 11:43 am

Oh my word. That’s just about the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.

Kate at Centsational Girl May 25, 2010 at 11:57 am

Me Tarzan. You Jane.

Thanks for the laugh this morning !
.-= Kate at Centsational Girl´s last blog ..Laundry Room Reveal =-.

Linda May 25, 2010 at 12:02 pm

I know there are no rules on how you like to decorate your own house, but if you want to sell it …..please! That house is a walk in and turn around and walk out. I don’t like peach, way too eighties.

Polly May 25, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Holy Crap!!!

And the stairs!?!?!?!?!?!
.-= Polly´s last blog ..Favorite photos … of you. =-.

Tricia Rose May 25, 2010 at 12:13 pm

The really creepy thing is how the vines have been eeked along the walls…

“That very night in Max’s room a forest grew – and grew…”
.-= Tricia Rose´s last blog ..The Daily Basics =-.

Kate (Little Beach Bum) May 25, 2010 at 12:23 pm

So…I feel like this would look fabulous in a Tuscan villa, or something, that was built of stone and iron railings and lots of open air…but inside a thoroughly modern house it looks kinda odd! Don’t you think? I like the idea, though, and I am impressed with someone’s green thumb ability!
.-= Kate (Little Beach Bum)´s last blog ..Quote of the Day =-.

Nicole May 25, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Clearly, the owner is going for that “Abandoned House” look which is all the rage right now…

Angela @ Peony Patch May 25, 2010 at 12:29 pm


I remember dating this guy once, and he told me that in his previous home (with his exwife) they did this same plant and had it going on the ceiling (with lattice like wirings) and they were so proud of it. There’s your sign!

Cindy May 25, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Everybody is cracking me up! This is so funny. Can’t you put something in a purchase contract like “All interior greenery must be removed prior to closing”? I don’t remember, I bought my house 29 years ago. And how far can you go with that – -“repaint anything peach with a color of the buyers choice, and remove ugly carpet – especially on the stairs.”? Hey homeowner, I used to tell my kids that when they were in church if they didn’t see anybody else doing something they were going to do then don’t do it.

rue May 25, 2010 at 12:36 pm

I’m speechless Julia….. LOL

.-= rue´s last blog ..Guessing game =-.

petra voegtle May 25, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Julia, this just made me laugh – this is truly unique – and what a plant – just incredible! This plant has a personality – apparently there was some communication between the plant and the homeowner. Do you know how s/he named him (the plant) because it must have a name….
.-= petra voegtle´s last blog ..It’s all about Colours… =-.

Kim May 25, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Where’s the monkeys? Looks like they are trying to turn their house into a jungle. It’s sad because this house has so much potential, but because they have plants all over the place, no one is going to want to buy it.

Destiny May 25, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Awful…absolutely awful!

Brenda May 25, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Oh WOW! My first thoughts –“Are we in the jungle?”

Lillian May 25, 2010 at 2:46 pm

WOW! I thought they were fake until I kept reading!!!
.-= Lillian´s last blog ..Garden Update =-.

Sean May 25, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Nothing a little paint and dose of weedkiller can’t fix….

Angelo May 25, 2010 at 5:10 pm

No….. Way. How is that even possible?
.-= Angelo´s last blog ..White Open Spaces… (sing it) =-.

Nadia May 25, 2010 at 6:31 pm


Kelli May 25, 2010 at 6:59 pm

I want to meet these people! Can you imagine how odd/eccentric they must be?
.-= Kelli´s last blog ..Tuesday Truth #13 – Fantasy world =-.

L. Thornton May 25, 2010 at 7:15 pm

“Previous Home of Jack and his beanstalk!”

Trish May 25, 2010 at 8:21 pm

It looks like a scene from the movie ‘Jumanji’… what were the homeowners thinking??

angela | the painted house May 25, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Yeah, the ivy is nuts…but the STAIRS! Homeowner, you are my new hero! You know what you want and you aren’t afraid to go after it no matter what THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS. Good one, Julia! :)
.-= angela | the painted house´s last blog ..YOU + TPH = LOVE =-.

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish May 25, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Hubby’s comment “It makes me feel like this … {insert Tarzan yell here}!!!!” Lol! That is classic!
.-= Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish´s last blog ..Weekend Thrifting – Rt 52 Yard Sale Finds =-.

Dean May 25, 2010 at 9:21 pm

Well, this is really obscure, but i was sitting here thinking that I’ve seen a horror movie where someone was taken over by a plant/fungus and I remembered it was in a Stephen King movie (where King was playing the unsuspecting victim and was eventually consumed by it). While I love plants and wildlife, this is creepy.

And I’ve never seen anyone do that with stairs….And I wish I never had… :-)

Dean May 25, 2010 at 9:24 pm

It also makes me wonder what they do with Christmas lights…Yikes!

Susan May 25, 2010 at 10:58 pm

I have never seen anything like this before! Ummm, not sure what I can add…but I will say, I’d be afraid to go to sleep at night in that house.
And the steps…again…never seen that done before…it’s…different.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..A Sneaky and Stylish Way to Include Additional Seating in Your Dining Space =-.

Heidi - Heart and Home May 25, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Oh my, Julia,
This is just too, how can I be kind, WEIRD for words. It’s like a creepy crawly snakey thing all over the walls and the floor. At least that’s what I think. I’m sure the owner of the house loves it. I can only imagine what the walls and everything else look like when the plant is removed. Those vines stain! EEK!! I will be kind and not say anything about the bi-colored stair carpeting….
.-= Heidi – Heart and Home´s last blog ..Wednesday Gratitude #15 at Heart and Home: Calm Mornings =-.

E. George May 25, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Hi Julia – how about Little Shop of Horrors or The Day Of The Trifids (hope I spelt that right) it was a horror movie about killer plants saw it a long long long time ago as a kid. The house looks cold and the plants are adding to that view not something I would want to live in. Regards Esther from a very wet and cold Sydney.

Our Nifty Notebook May 26, 2010 at 8:23 am

“Welcome to the Jungle”. You know like the Guns N Roses song.

Anyway, that is frightening! All I can think about is the bugs that might be in the plants! Plus, check out that one pic where it’s on the ground! LOL!

Those people are probably really interesting.
.-= Our Nifty Notebook´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday: Happy Birthday, Dave! =-.

The Shiny Pebble May 26, 2010 at 10:52 am

Maybe they let it grow out and got out of hand. Some people get stuck on ideas like that and they probably have been at it for quite a few years. The double colored steps did me in. At least these are minor fixes.
.-= The Shiny Pebble´s last blog ..2010 Shanghai World Expo and Burberry Blue Label =-.

Nita May 26, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Actually, mom my had a plant like that she trained around part of the living room ceiling, and it’s the same kind of plant too. When you are in the house 6 months because of snow from Nov. to April, you crave having some green around you, and I am sure housebound as she was, this was her way. It was really lovely.

Nita May 26, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Oh, and that is not a vine, and it doesn’t leave any marks on the walls at all.

Amanda - Small Home Big Start May 27, 2010 at 10:52 am

It definitely looks like Jumanji in there. I’m just waiting for the monkeys to come running out of the kitchen.

I wonder what kind of damage that did to the walls?
.-= Amanda – Small Home Big Start´s last blog ..May 2-4 Long Weekend Recap =-.

anna see May 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Too funny! Not a big selling point.

When I taught I dropped a student off at home and she had this same thing going on in her house. She told me it is a cultural tradition (from India?). She said that the longer the plant got, the more prosperous the family would become. It was a real source of pride.
.-= anna see´s last blog ..My Cup is Half Empty =-.

Deidra May 28, 2010 at 10:37 am

No-o-o-o-o way!
.-= Deidra´s last blog ..Madonna’s In My Head! =-.

FairfieldHouse May 29, 2010 at 7:57 pm

The only thing missing are cats peering through the cascading waterfall like vines and piped in music: “In the jungle the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…”
.-= FairfieldHouse´s last blog ..Domestic Goddess =-.

Lindsay May 29, 2010 at 11:54 pm

I LOVE IT. reminds me so fondly of the Practical Magic house… it’s a great idea. If only there were wood paneling instead of standard drywall.
p.s. that plant is awesome, it will grow in nothing but water if you want and doesn’t need hardly ANY sunlight to look that healthy. amazing.

jan July 9, 2010 at 12:15 am

that plant is pothos, or better known as devil’s ivy. It is hard work to get it to grow like that, as it does not naturally cling like real ivy. with mine, i cut it back periodically to renew its vigor. but i did see a dry cleaning store in texas that had the stuff growing all over the windows and over the ceiling.

Kim April 26, 2012 at 7:20 am

This totally reminds me of Jumanji! I love plants but I think I would be worried they would make their way to my childrens rooms and my room and kill us all in our sleep…

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