Caption This Real Estate Photo: Beware of the Sculpture

by hookedonhouses on August 17, 2010

odd sculpture in foyer

This 4-bedroom, 3-bath house, on the market in Michigan for $425,000, appears to be stuck in some kind of weird ’70s time warp. But it’s the unusual, um, sculpture (?) in the entry that makes all the foil wallpaper, dark paneling, and shag carpeting fade into the background.

odd sculpture in foyer 2I have no idea what that’s supposed to be. And I think I’m a little afraid to find out. (I just noticed the plant in the top photo that seems to be hugging the corner, as if it’s trying to get as far away from the thing as possible…)

How would you caption this? (Thanks to Maureen for finding the listing.)

Go to Bad MLS Photos to see more!

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Sheila August 17, 2010 at 8:43 am
Christine August 17, 2010 at 8:46 am

I…. I…. Yep, speechless. :)
.-= Christine´s last blog ..Getting to Know You – August 16th =-.

lisa August 17, 2010 at 8:50 am

hahahhaha the plant catch is priceless.
.-= lisa´s last blog ..Smudge Bundles and New Books =-.

Jennifer August 17, 2010 at 9:15 am

There’s something frightening about this listing. It’s like something terrible happened in 1972 & everyone left in a hurry & never came back. 400k? The lot must be huge and spectacular!

Debbie August 17, 2010 at 9:23 am

$425,000 for a monstrosity needing total renovation, kitsch included.

Please call our office for a private showing, complimentary aspirin and 3D glasses with every tour.

Nadia August 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm


Liz@VioletPosy August 17, 2010 at 9:24 am

Gah!! That is so funny!
.-= Liz@VioletPosy´s last blog ..Blogadesh =-.

50s Housewife August 17, 2010 at 9:39 am

That is hilarious! What is that thing and why wouldn’t you take it out of your house before listing it?
.-= 50s Housewife´s last blog ..A Housewifes Life – August =-.

Phyllis Book April 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

That’s to keep you from noticing the walpaper.

Laura August 17, 2010 at 9:42 am

I’m still trying to work out what the sculpture is made of… It looks like a fly paper pile! Lx
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Distressing Chairs In more ways than one! =-.

Derek August 17, 2010 at 9:43 am

P) Sherman, set the way back machine for 1970. Home of the Chinese wood sculptor. Chow Cha Ching, in Michigan.

S) All set Mr. Peabody.

S) Why are we going to this point in time sir?

P) To show why you should never put a large scary sculpture in your entryway.
This particualar sculpture wards off good taste. Therefore the Interior Designer, the painters , carpet layers, and the furniture delivery people could not enter. This house was doomed to stay as it is in 1970 for the next 40 years, untouched by style, trend or fad. Sad really.
.-= Derek´s last blog ..Magazine Photo Shoot =-.

Amanda @ Serenity Now August 17, 2010 at 10:01 am

That, my friend, is the stuff of nightmares.

caroline August 17, 2010 at 10:02 am

How about naming the sculpture ‘War of the Lobsters”. At least that’s kind of what it looks like to me. I don’t know – it’s really bizarre and as frightening as the wall paper.

Cathryn August 17, 2010 at 10:03 am

I wasn’t enough that he had chosen his ex-wife’s wallpaper for his new bachelor pad. Mike Brady decided to put his new girlfriend’s “sculpture” right up front in the foyer, so he could rub Carol’s nose in it when she dropped off the kids for the weekend.

sondra August 17, 2010 at 10:21 am

I love all the unusual homes you post about! That sculpture is a space eating monster! I hope it has some special meaning to the owner.

Susan S August 17, 2010 at 10:25 am

Oh, poor, sad, neglected house!! If I toured this house, I would be crying. It certainly has potential though!

Nadia August 17, 2010 at 10:26 am

What in the….?

Pascale Steig August 17, 2010 at 11:04 am

Here in Portland, Oregon, that house would be pretty retro cool. But it’s true that the crustacean-looking sculpture is nightmarish…
.-= Pascale Steig´s last blog ..A favorite place 08-14-10 =-.

Nancy Hood August 17, 2010 at 11:05 am

I would call it scary indeed!
.-= Nancy Hood´s last blog ..For Some Insight on America =-.

Sean August 17, 2010 at 11:10 am

It appears to be a gaint piece of wood burl they usually saw them up into veneer but in the 60′s and 70′s, they would varnish them whole and make lamp bases, coffee tables and such out of them, allthough I have never seen one that big before, as they weigh a ton!

Slowish Food August 17, 2010 at 11:19 am

Never mind the sculpture. I’m terrified of the wallpaper!
.-= Slowish Food´s last blog ..Three Quick Recipes- Weekend Edition =-.

Beth August 17, 2010 at 11:25 am

“Carol, Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Cindy?! I’m home! What has Alice made for supper?”

Maggy August 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

OK, again, your faithful followers have said everything I wanted to, but .. I have to ask: what’s up w/ these Realtors? Who in their right mind would even *think* of taking a picture of that and posting it on MLS? (As if the 70s theme going on wasn’t enough .. yuck!)

By the way .. I’m with the plant.

Tabitha August 17, 2010 at 11:45 am

It looks as if Disney has started reproducing mini-Trees of Life for retail sales!…Oh wait…I think I see a dog in there!! LOL
.-= Tabitha´s last blog ..What a good Laugh =-.

jane August 17, 2010 at 11:54 am

We thought Geordie had fixed that transporter!

sbean August 17, 2010 at 11:55 am

It looks like worms!

Jocelyn August 17, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Wow, talk about a time warp! 70′s for sure! The shag carpet and the wall paper say it all!
.-= Jocelyn´s last blog ..Metamorphosis Monday =-.

The Little Red Shop August 17, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Where did they get a deep-fryer…that big???

: (

Julie M.
.-= The Little Red Shop´s last blog ..Road Trippin Highway 101 Part II =-.

Kim August 17, 2010 at 1:03 pm

I wonder if that statue comes alive and wouldn’t let the homeowners do some updating in their house.

I can’t stop laughing! This house is hilarious. Just when I think I have seen it all. Think anyone will want to buy this house? I think not. Even if I had tons of money, I wouldn’t have the patience to do some updating in that house. That’s why if I ever buy a house, it will be one that doesn’t need a lot of work.

Chrissy August 17, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I can only conclude that the people who lived here were blind. I am a real estate consultant in New Zealand, and in my job I am visually tortured daily…boo hoo!

Jocelyn Stott August 17, 2010 at 1:18 pm

.-= Jocelyn Stott´s last blog ..Happy Pictures =-.

Danielle August 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I imagine this house smelling like stale cigarette smoke and mothballs.

As scary as these pictures are, I think if someone took the time to update it, it would be a lovely house.

The price seems a little steep though. I can only assume that people who have ignored their decor for 30+ years might have also been oblivious to structural maintenance as well.
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..What I Read This Summer – Sizzling Sixteen =-.

Juju at Tales of August 17, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Careful of the wood monster!
.-= Juju at Tales of´s last blog ..Book Beginnings Friday- Numbers =-.

Trish @TheOldPostRoad August 17, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Put your hope in God, not in mere idols made by man. Because man can make some really ugly idols – and some really ugly 1970′s brown and beige temples.
.-= Trish @TheOldPostRoad´s last blog ..Cool! I just hit 300! =-.

Terri August 17, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Gee, I wonder if they would throw in the sculpture if I bought the house. I see a lot of wallpaper removal in somebody’s future.

This reminds me of my parents house (minus the sculpture). My sisters and I have to figure out how to dispose of check stubs, junk mail and paperwork that dates back to the 1950′s AND somehow update the house and try to sell it in this dreadful market.

pollydove August 17, 2010 at 4:41 pm

No idea. Sometimes it boggles my mind that people have not redecorated since the 70s!
.-= pollydove´s last blog ..Extra cash =-.

Pat August 17, 2010 at 5:01 pm

This retro home comes with it’s own built in babysitter. Just tell the kids this monster sculpture comes to life when children are bad.
That will scare them straight!!
.-= Pat´s last blog ..Take a Picture Of That Bear! =-.

Maria August 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Ahhh, why that is the god that sucks your soul out when you live in surroundings so depressing that your soul actually dies and is in need of being removed from the empty shell that was formerly known as you.

Also known as Blair Witch II — the Extreme Home Makeover Edition.

Nita August 17, 2010 at 6:04 pm

LOL! It looks like an upside down lobster ready to be dropped into the pot of boiling water! Gad, the wallpaper too.

Nita August 17, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Oh my, lovely setting, though. Still, the flocked bathroom wallpaper and that carpeting in the living room is pure 70s. This must be older people ready to retire, but still why can’t they do something to the house in all those years. By not changing it, however, they probably can afford a wonderful retirement on all that money saved.

Papa August 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Call it: “Tree Love”.

Holley August 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Albert had always wondered what his collection of ships’ mastheads would look like when combined.
.-= Holley´s last blog ..Everything is new =-.

Dawn August 17, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Agree with everything that’s been said. It needs major updating.

But it has lots of potential and the setting is beautiful.

Hopefully, it’s not in a flood zone being so close to a lake.

Alex August 17, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Some folks really do believe that if you put enough varnish on a fungus it will look really good.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..Outdoor Living Space- Day Thirteen =-.

Cheri@IHeartOldHouses August 17, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Oh, my!
.-= Cheri@IHeartOldHouses´s last blog ..Fine Print =-.

Claire August 17, 2010 at 8:50 pm

Oh goody, the guard plant is finally asleep. Time to make my escape.

Valerie August 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Ha, ha, ha… Aren’t houses fun… it’s not just what they look like it’s what’s in them too.



Bre August 17, 2010 at 10:06 pm

haha that poor plant trying to escape through the drywall. That “sculpture” is both hideous and terrifying. That should really help with the staging process. Yeesh.

Jano August 18, 2010 at 12:21 am

Release the kraken!

Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top August 18, 2010 at 9:04 am

Eek! What in the world IS that? I’m skeered. haha

Our Nifty Notebook August 18, 2010 at 10:28 am

What the?! The plant had me LOL!
.-= Our Nifty Notebook´s last blog ..Links I Like- 17th Edition =-.

Lauren August 18, 2010 at 10:57 am

In between hunting season, Michigan’s Militia tunes into its creative side. Now on the market: Gehry? Gaudi? Hell no – this is Gaylord, Michigan.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Budget schmudget =-.

Christine August 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm

I couldn’t stop laughing when I read your comment about the plant! Too funny!

Yeah, have no idea what the reasoning was behind that thing. Someone had to have come up with a good reason to put it there when some asked why the heck they placed such an atrocious thing in the middle of the foyer.

Cindy August 20, 2010 at 12:03 am

How could anyone with taste not know that is a sculpture of a pork rind. Come on people get a clue. Sheesh.

Laurie August 20, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Pork rind? HAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!!!
On the flipside, I couldn’t get over the size of those bedrooms, though. Nice. But certainly a lot of work ahead for someone…

Jim August 21, 2010 at 9:59 pm

“Oh, Harold? He’s fine. Stamp collecting? No that was last month. His latest hobby is woodworking….He told me he is making me a surprise and I can’t wait!”
.-= Jim´s last blog ..Hotel Boca Chica in Alcapulco =-.

roger thomaston August 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm

That home is deeply saddening. It appears to be an estate sale. How many of us will remain in homes that are slowly going out of date as we grow older? Having to choose between paying rising property expenses and medical costs or remodeling it in the latest style in hopes to avoid snarky comments on the Internet?

Greg August 22, 2010 at 2:35 pm

It looks like the sculpture-monster is blocking the way downstairs. So the question is, what freakish, unholy thing is down there that requires the sculpture-monster to shield it from any possible human encounter? The plant knows whats up.

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