Welcome to the first installment of “Just Say No.” As I search the MLS each week, I occasionally run across rooms like this that need serious intervention. A room in a high-end home that costs more than most of us could ever dream of owning. A room that would’ve been perfectly lovely if it hadn’t been for the paint or decorating choices its owners have made.
So I’ve decided to post some of them here as cautionary tales for anyone who may be tempted to try painting their vaulted ceilings and fireplace mantels the color of Pepto Bismal. I don’t care if you’re getting peer pressure from your best friend Barbie who thinks pink is always appropriate–just say no. Painting the wood beams in your ceilings a color like this is like a gateway drug, leading to untold disasters in all the other rooms of your home.
This is a kitchen in a million-dollar home that apparently also serves as cold storage for any guests who may not make it through dinner (what is that wall of doors on the back wall about, anyway? I’m guessing some sort of built-in refrigerator?). I can’t help but think that this is where those sweet old ladies from “Arsenic and Old Lace” would live in a modern remake of the Cary Grant classic.
Just say no to wicker rockers in kitchens and floral wallpaper on the ceilings, while we’re at it, too.
Next up: an example of “contemporary decor” gone awry. Those window treatments are what push it over the edge for me. Is it me, or do they look like they were made from Elvira’s castoffs? And is the carpet…black? For only $2.5 million, it can be yours!
Since we started with a room that shouldn’t have been painted pink, we’ll close with another. The dining room below is in an elegant historic mansion. And who knows, maybe this color of pink is accurate for the time period and I’m too ignorant to know it, but I wish they could’ve been a little more . . . subtle with their paint choices. It makes it hard to see the beautiful woodwork in here–and makes me wish I had enough money to buy this home and rescue it:
What do you think? Which is the worst decorating offender? Do you think I was too harsh with any of them? Is there anyone who didn’t have to reach for an Advil after staring at this pink dining room?
If You’re Hooked on Rooms That Need Rehab: